Thursday, March 09, 2006

Random thoughts on college

How important is a college education? Hmmm...how many English majors end up doing something totally unrelated to English? My dad was an English major who is now a golf course superintendent...which is why he hates the fact that I'm an English major. He doesn't think I'll do anything with it after college. As I'm nearing graduation, I think he's right. However, I will (knock on wood), have that piece of paper. I BSed my way through college writing half-assed papers and reading boring literature, but I have that essential ingredient to a high-paying job--a diploma. After almost four years of college, I have little respect for college education. I remember no Spanish despite taking four godawful semesters. Art history is a distant memory...did I really look at naked dudes and comment on how they showed social movements by the way their penis' curved? The memory could be so bad that I have just erased it. Econ -- Dr. Schmidt --enough said. All I remember is his guns and butter theory and the fact that he used to get chalk all over himself because he would get excited about recessions. Philosophy was interesting because of Jo Jo Beatty, but all that class taught me was that nothing is certain and no one will ever agree. But hey, it's fun to talk about morality and utilitarianism. Web Design for my computer requirement -- Dr. Leska was a nice guy, but I've got no clue what's going on inside this machine I use so often. My two labs -- BS to the extreme. I really do need to know about photosynthesis and the types of leaves. Speaking intensive courses...I loved them. Despite the fact that I had no clue what I was talking about, I would stammer about two times each class to satisfy the respective professor that I could carry on a discussion. College really taught me how to take a shot, how to hold my alcohol, and how play beer pong (I'm kinda hot right now btw). I perfected my gossipping skills as well. I picked up smoking, a habit that's very appealing and will kill me at some point, whether it be a car wreck while I'm trying to light a smoke or coughing up my lungs in twenty years. College taught me about casual sex...wrap your tool, don't be a fool. I'm much more jaded than I was as a freshman. I'm much more vulgar. Why have I paid nearly a hundred grand again? I could have picked up all of these habits working construction. Oh wait...I am getting that diploma, which will convince some poor s.o.b. to give me more money than he would've if I was a green kid straight out of high school. Could it be a question of character, you might ask, and your character couldn't quite handle college? I'm still here...I'm not on probation..I survived the system, and this May I will walk across that podium. And while I walk, my poor naive mother will clap and cry and be proud of me. I'll be happy and cheer and get drunk later with my buddies, because we "made it."

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